LAS VEGAS – For the last week, aliens have been attacking Las Vegas with Death Rays! Guests at several hotels in Las Vegas have been receiving severe burns from ’death rays’ that have been reigning down during the day – and night (death bolts).
The death rays were most noticeable at the new Vdara Hotel, because it has a concave shape and the rays are easy to detect. Over a hundred guests got third-degree burns from the death rays and three guests have died.
At night the death rays turn into death bolts, which are also burning guests and tourists. The FBI and local authorities have not released an official explanation about the death rays. They have only offered up this diagram depicting the angle of the rays that have hit the Vdara Hotel:
There are rumors that the death rays are merely sun rays that are being reflected off the glass of the Vdara Hotel, but WWN has learned the truth from our FBI sources:
Aliens are attacking Las Vegas.
“It makes sense. The U.N. just announced plans to form a panel to greet the aliens when they make their full-scale invasion in the near future. The aliens are moral beings, and the fact that they are striking at Las Vegas first is no surprise,” said UFO expert Shannon Begley.
Gamblers and hedonists are determined to stay in Vegas and continue their debauchery They are wearing protective clothing and staying indoors. But, the rays are attacking guests through windows, doors and in some case through the walls.
Chicago attorney Bill Corsale felt the power of the dangerous ray first hand. ”I was sipping my mojito one second and in the next I was looking at major chemical burns on my hand. I won’t be able to use that hand again… and I am definitely never coming to Vegas again.”
‘Within 30 seconds, the back of my legs were burning. My first though was, “This is the apocalypse. God isn’t happy with man and is taking his revenge,” said Cynthia Rosen.
Gordon Asher, a spokesman for MGM Resorts, which owns the Vdara hotel, tried to downplay the death rays, but he was seen walking through the hotel with military officers, FBI agents and members of NASA
“If Las Vegas cleans up its act, gets rid of some of the seedier elements of the town and makes it a more family-friendly, alien-friendly environment, then the aliens will no-doubt stop their attack. They just want it to be a more wholesome place,” said Langston Haworth, an expert on alien life forms. ”Aliens want the best for humans and they want Las Vegas to thrive again.”
However, there were some aliens seen playing craps at the Venetian Hotel. Hmmm…. maybe they just want the place to themselves.