NEW YORK – The United Nations has formed a panel to begin peace talks with aliens.
Professor Mazlan Othman is in charge of conducting negotiations with the first extraterrestrials ever allowed into the United Nations. They are discussing the political, social and economic ramifications of the coming alien invasion. The new department is called United Nations Office of Outer Space Affairs.
U.N Secretary General, Ban Ki-Moon appointed Professor Othman, a Malaysian astrophysicist, and expected negotiations with the first extraterrestrials to begin in the next few weeks. The UNOOSA’s other duties include passing the benefits of technology developed for space to Earth-bound humanity, particularly those in the Third World; and monitoring what is sent into space.
Aliens have long been upset about the trash that Earth has been sending into outer space. Aliens are demanding that one their leaders be placed as the head of the United Nations, effective immediately. Ki-Moon doesn’t see how that will be possible, but he’s willing to negotiate.
Professor Othman, known now as the “Alien Ambassador,” hopes to get the aliens to explain UFOs, alien abductions, the rumors that they deactivated British & US nuclear missiles and Mel Gibson (a known alien). renowned theoretical physicist, Stephen Hawking, has been selected to steer the “Greeting Committee,” which is a panel of ten earthlings that have been selected to greet aliens as they arrive here on earth. “Professor Hawking speaks their language, we think he’s an excellent choice,” said Ki-Moon.
The United Nations has been having secret meetings on UFOS since 2008 and plans to make the transcripts of those meetings available to the public – soon after the aliens have taken over Earth.
Since the announcement of UNOOSA and the new alien panel, the United Nations’ switchboard has been overwhelmed with calls. “The person at extension 4951 is unavailable, please leave your message after the tone,” it said. Those messages might make for some interesting listening.
Aliens, of course, have been living among us for a long time, but the coming Alien Invasion has prompted the United Nations to take action. “We don’t want to fight them, we want to surrender,” said Ki-Moon.
I didn't even know we had a U.N. ambassador to aliens. Is Obama trying to get them to put his face in the inter gallactic currency?
The Earth is 4.5 billion years old. Our civilization has advanced by leaps and bounds in just 100 years. In 1910 aircraft were still experimental. This means that meeting a civilization at the same stage as ourselves is extremely unlikely.
A civilization even 200 years in advance of us is likely to know everything about us and have developed AI to a stage where it will know more about us than we know about ourselves. LISA can maintain coherence over a distance of 5m km. It would seem likely that optical telescopes of these dimensions will exist in the blink of an eye (geologically speaking).
Diplomacy therefore seems to me completely useless. Stephan Hawking says that we should not even lift the phone. I think he has overlooked one fact. A "Type 3" civilization will gravitate towards black holes. Stars have a mass/energy conversion of 0.5%. A black hole will convert at up to 80%. They simply will not need the Solar System.
I am dubious though about the existence of intelligent life. One would expect some sort of engineering to be associated with stars, if not black holes. There is absolutely no evidence for this.