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KRISTEN STEWART IS TOTALLY TEAM ALIEN


Bella may prefer Edward to Jacob, but when it comes to Kristen Stewart, she’s Team Alien all the way.

In a recent interview with Weekly World News reporter, Tap Vann, Kristen revealed that she has always had an unusual connection to aliens – and now has several of them living her Beverly Hills home.  Vann suggested to Kristen that it might not be safe (or legal) for Kristen to keep aliens, but she said that she felt more comfortable with beings from other planets, than with people here on earth (particularly tabloid writers).  Kristen ran into the aliens at Club Space in South Beach, where they were literally dancing up a storm. All the aliens seem to be male – though it’s hard to tell because they don’t have bodies.

Many Twilight fans are scared that Kristen will be harmed by the aliens, but Kristen isn’t concerned at all. “Compared to werewolves and vampires, aliens are a lot nicer, a lot less violent and a lot funnier.  “They really know how to make a girl laugh!”  Just last week the aliens pulled a prank on Robert Pattinson – they abducted him, took him to the moon and “bothered” him until he stopped saying the word “bothered.”  Kristen was rolling on the floor laughing when they brought him back to earth.

Although the majority of Twilight fans are on Team Edward, and the rest on Team Jacob, Kristen feels strongly that Bella shouldn’t be with either one. “Bella should be on Team Alien, like me.”  Kristen went on to say that “Bella can attract the best-looking vampire and the best-looking werewolf in her high school and I know she could capture the attention of at least a few decent-looking humans as well, but what really would turn her on is hooking up with a couple of aliens, particularly red aliens without bodies.”

Kristen feels that it is ridiculous for girls to have only two choices: vampires or werewolves. Aliens are gentle, caring and they all have such big, beautiful eyes.  “And I like the fact that I don’t have to deal with a guy who sucks blood or who occasionally gets covered in gnarly hair and howls at the moon.  That’s boring to me.”

Kristen’s four aliens – Ethu, Orsi, Lhuc and Xip – are with her at all times and are looking forward to being on the set of her new movie, “On The Road,”  based on the Jack Kerouac novel.   Ethu said  he was a beatnik at heart and remembers playing bongos with Ken Kesey at Area 51 back in 1959.

There are persistent rumors that Kristen is in a romantic relationship with Robert Pattinson.  His publicist won’t confirm or deny the relationship, but she did say that ever since R-Patz  learned about the four aliens living in Kristen’s house, he has become insanely jealous and… bothered.

Weekly World News has confirmed that Ethu, Orsi, Lhuc and Xip will each have cameos in the final installment of the Twilight saga.