LONDON – Last night, Virgin Galactic unveiled its new SpaceShipTwo, christened the VSS Enterprise. The new ship will be the first to provide commercial trips into space. However, the unveiling was almost canceled due to an accident during a test run.
Weekly World News has discovered the Virgin Galactic shuttle got into a fender bender with a UFO! Earlier this week the ship was taking several engineers and Sir Richard Branson on a final test run when they collided with an alien spacecraft that had just turned off its cloaking device. No major damage was done to either craft.
Pilots of the VSS Enterprise were unsure of what extraterrestrial protocol was for a minor accident. One of the pilots put on a suit and floated outside the craft with insurance information in hand. The aliens, communicating at first through flashing colored lights before realizing everyone spoke English, threatened war as they had been burned by human insurance companies in the past.
Before things got out of hand, Richard Branson saved the day by offering a first pressing Sex Pistols record in exchange for damages to the alien craft. The aliens were very pleased with this and flew to a repair station on the dark side of the moon without incident. Richard Branson always carries a small briefcase filled with original pressings of valuable records; Sex Pistols, the Who, and Elvis to name a few. “This way I always know where they are, and if I die, they they go with me.”
Virgin Galactic’s VSS Enterprise only suffered a mild dent and scratches from its collision with the alien craft. The Enterprise made a gentle return flight before being taken to a body shop outside Reno to fix the damages. After a certain amount of haggling the craft was ready in time and shipped out for the unveiling ceremony.
The Enterprise is expected to be the first of many, catering to the desire for commercial space travel. Branson will use the funds generated by this to research faster-than-light intergalactic travel, saying “I want my record back!”