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MYGAR AT THE MOVIES


mygar_movie_reviews

Greetings Sentients!  Again the time has come for edification on all things epicurean from your humble servant, Mygar. 

This week, I shall be reviewing the latest summer movies.  They range from the tear-jerking to the lobotomizing, so be ready for an emotional roller coaster.

district9poster

First and foremost, let us address the elephant in the room.  Opening this weekend is District 9.  May the triple rings be praised, finally a major motion picture that tells the other side of the story.  In this stirring drama a group of extra-terrestrials arrives to earth on a peace mission to share knowledge and intergallactic brotherhood.  Soon they are at the mercy of the savage humans, who have found a way to keep them from leaving and are torturing them for the technology to make new weapons.  The rest of the human population is kept in fear by racist anti-ET propaganda spread by the government.  Not since Schindler’s List have I cried so much in the theatre.  This film contains so much emotional truth it could have been ripped from tomorrow’s headlines.  Thank you Peter Jackson, thank you.

Julie and Julia Poster

Julie and Julia tells the stories of Julia Child and somebody else played by Amy Adams.  Oh Julia, how I miss your cocktail parties.  Little known fact, during Earth’s World War II Julia Child worked with British Intelligence.  Also, she was an alien.  Honestly, do either of those facts surprise any of you?

GoodsPoster

To all good things must come an end.  The Goods.  This movie is made for those with external reproductive organs which have not yet fully descended.  Or have the mentality thereof.  Your planet is considered intellectually barren in some of the better galaxies.  This is why.

bandslam-poster

Bandslam.  Drop of your children for this movie then run away.  Otherwise you risk being cinematically lobotomized.  If you have children that want to see this movie, you need to reevaluate your priorities as a parent.

This concludes our time for this week.  Until next time, when I shall be reviewing the new installation at the Guggenheim, constructed by the reanimated corpse of Frank Lloyd Wright.

As Always, your humble servant

Mygar