SALT LAKE CITY, UT – A startling new report from a UFO research group reveals everything scientists have learned about aliens… including the fact that they hate dogs, love spicy food and can change sex at will!
The secret document – prepared by a group of UFO experts from Russia, the United States, France, Italy and Sweden – has been distributed to governments worldwide. A public disclosure of its revelations is planned for June of this year.
“It’s one of the most fascinating documents on aliens I have ever seen,” said Dr. Nathan Bellingham, a UFO tracking specialist who has seen the unusual UFO report.
“Everything mankind has ever learned about our visitors from outer sapce is contained in this one piece of research. It gives an insight into alien character and capabilities that is simply unavailable anywhere else.”
According to Dr. Bellingham, the report reveals:
- Aliens hate dogs. In the centuries spacemen have visited this planet there have been hundreds of cases in which unfriendly canines have attacked and mauled helpless aliens, badly injuring them.
To ward off dogs, most aliens carry a special chemical spray that they hate.
- Aliens can change sex at will. They enjoy the variety of experience afforded by switching from male to female and feel sorry for humans who are stuck being just one sex all their lives.
- Aliens have absolutely no emotions. All decisions are based on factual information and they have trouble understanding any other way of behaving.
- Aliens suffer extraordinarily from sunburn. To protect themselves from Earth’s bright sun they wear special gray metallic suits.
- Aliens love spicy foods and strong-tasting drinks. Their taste buds are so insensitive that with their eyes close they cannot tell the difference between mashed potatoes and peanut butter.
- Earthly dampness gives aliens arthritis, colds and skin rashes. For this reason, aliens tend to live aboard spaceships whenever possible and earn hazardous duty pay whenever they are assigned to missions on our planet.
WWN Shop
December 3rd, 2009 at 11:58 pm
I APPRECIATE THIS VALUABLE INSIGHT INTO ALIEN LIFE ON EARTH.
YOU SEEM TO ONLY BE TRALING ABOUT THE GRAYS, HOWEVER. WHAT ABOUT THE REPTILIAN ALIENS?
DR. SATURANUS
December 4th, 2009 at 6:04 am
Alien Fact: Eirk Van DatinKen was a gerbil until aliens turned him into a poor comedian.
December 4th, 2009 at 8:35 am
Not be be a nitpicker here, but if aliens have no emotions, then how do they "enjoy the variety of experience afforded by switching from male to female and feel sorry for humans…" Yeah, Whoops!
December 4th, 2009 at 11:43 am
So, was this Dr. Bellingham on the Global Warming Board too? These people couldn't handle the truth about my people's Biostructure. And by the way, dogs are just stupid. They baek and attack whatever they don't understand. Somewhat like humans.
December 4th, 2009 at 4:54 pm
Changing sex at will? Does this mean they can go screw themselves?
December 4th, 2009 at 11:03 pm
Wow, sexual shape-shifters!
What state is going to be first approve those kind of marriages? California?
December 4th, 2009 at 10:04 pm
I cannot imagine I have two sexes and change whenever I wanted. I must have at least 100 babies throughout my entire life. They must be trillions around the galaxy. Come Aliens and have fun with the human. Two sexes may be weaker than one sex?
December 5th, 2009 at 2:52 pm
ALL CRAP . . . People still try 2 create conspiracies . . . U all . . Write something worth reading . . . ALIENS HATE DOGS . . . crap . . . Does any1 have some real points to make , , some real authentic stuff
December 12th, 2009 at 8:46 pm
Physical experience baby….try a few classes in "Critical Thought"
December 12th, 2009 at 8:47 pm
No. But you CAN.
December 12th, 2009 at 8:49 pm
Full marks for clarity….what the fuck are you on about?
December 16th, 2009 at 5:21 am
hahhaha good point
December 21st, 2009 at 1:20 am
I though they liked strawberry ice cream also.
December 31st, 2009 at 10:16 pm
pics or gtfo
January 1st, 2010 at 5:27 am
According to Dr. Arthur, the report reveals:
– Aliens hate dogs. Because they are man´s best friends, and they are jealous. To ward off dogs, most aliens carry a picture of G.W. Bush.
– Aliens can change sex at will. They are socially correct but morally open. They enjoy other human practices as having sex on the first date.
- Aliens have absolutely no emotions. That´s why they only speak with presidents and dictators. – Aliens suffer extraordinarily from sunburn. To protect themselves from Earth’s bright sun they use Nivea Sun Block (available in stores $4.99).
– Aliens love spicy foods and strong-tasting drinks. Usually their favorite drink its Jet Fuel with onions and some Mexican chili. Stirred but Not Shaken
- Earthly dampness gives aliens arthritis, colds and skin rashes, vomits, diarrhea, flue, and sterility. For this reason, aliens tend to avoid visiting earth, or live aboard spaceships whenever possible and earn hazardous duty pay whenever they are assigned to missions on our planet.
-They also like waking on the beach at night, soft kisses and Maroon 5.
January 1st, 2010 at 11:19 am
Moron, she was referring to the "feeling sorry" part which is an emotional response.
Perhaps you should take your own advice.
January 17th, 2010 at 4:11 am
OR THE POSITIVE ALIENS AND ALIEN HYBRIDS LIKE THE INDIGOS ?!
February 1st, 2010 at 11:57 pm
Freaky!I agree with Debrorah Hart.
February 3rd, 2010 at 4:29 am
LOVE IT!! That was a good one Bob LMAO!!